Monday, March 19, 2007

Up and At'em

After a fitfully night, we're up for the day. I think it will be a sock day (too tired for the mitt, but I need something to keep my mind off how tired I am.) How can two children be so different sleep wise? H slept through the night at 3 months, immediately reverts to sleeping well after sickness or teething, rarely gets up and goes right back to sleep in minutes when he does! L has only had 5 or less 9 hour stretches EVER and she'll be a year old next week! We've tried everything (No Cry Sleep Solution, Co-Sleeping...) but may have to resort to letting her cry it out. We actually started this and the second night she slept 9 hours, but then we all ended up sick, teething or both. I hate leaving her to cry, but sleep is starting to win out. Over a year of no good sleep will do that to you... (BTW, just want to clarify... I'm fine if she's up at night, but we're both getting so much broken sleep it's not helping either of us! 4-5 times a night when she's not sick is too much.)

On the positive side, she is finally starting to nap a bit better. Which means, if the night hasn't been too bad and H is playing in his room (and all my "chores" are caught up - at least to a tolerable level) then I get to knit. I wish I could nap, but between H, 3 cats and a dog it doesn't usually work out. Knitting is better anyway!



trish said...

Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies
Dr Sears

What parents and caregivers need to know!
by Phyllis Porter, M.A.

Crying for comfort: distressed babies need to be held - Art of Mothering
Mothering, Jan-Feb, 2004 by Aletha Solter

The Dangers of Leaving Your Baby to Cry
By Margaret Chuong-Kim, M.A.

The Science of Attachment:
The Biological Roots of Love
by Lauren Lindsey Porter

The Emotional Infant Brain
Part 1: The developing emotional subsystems of the brain process various information, including how to relate the state of the world with xpectations.

Stress in Infancy
by Linda Folden Palmer, D.C.

The Science of Attachment
By Kelley Shirazi

Mistaken Approaches to Night Waking:
Excerpt from Sweet Dreams: A pediatrician's secrets for your child's good night sleep, Lowell House, 22-28 By Paul M. Fleiss, M.D., M.P.H., F.A.A.P., 2000

Dr Sears

The Australian Association for Infant Mental Health:

Loving Responces to a baby's cries
Copyright (c) 2001 By Ingrid Bauer:

Fatherhood Basic Instinc
A dad can do so much more than defend the cave. New research shows that he too has the biological goods to nurture baby
By John Hoffman

Amelia Hill

Why babies should never sleep alone: A review
of the co-sleeping controversy in relation to SIDS,
bedsharing and breast feeding
James J. McKenna* and Thomas McDade

Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say
By Alvin Powell

CIO? No! The case for not using "cry-it-out" with your children
By Gale E.Ward

Chris said...

Wish I had the magic pill, but we just had to let our oldest cry it our sometimes. With our youngest we had to break the pacifier habit and we just let her cry it out. Crying doesn't hurt your child, I know I am probably going to get hate mail for that. Just because you let her cry to sleep one time, it didn't cause any of the sickness, etc.

Sibling Rivalry, you cannot avoid it, it will happen. Hopefully it will not be too bad. But my older bro and I were always at each other's throats. Now in our 40's you wouldn't know we were ever at odds. You are so in the moment of being a Mom to young kids, it's hard to see that crying to sleep and sibling rivalry will pass as long as we don't go overboard in trying to avoid it.

Chris, Mom to a 13 and 9 year old, both girls.

Jenn said...

Trish - Thanks for all the info. I read about half of these (couldn't get the others to come up). I've been trying things (co-slept the first 6 months, but she wanted to play with mommy every hour or so, no cry for almost the entire first year). I really do appreciate the time you took to respond and pull together all the info. I think at this point that a few nights of crying is less hurtful than letting her continue to get poor or little sleep. To me part of my job along with feeding, nurturing and loving my child is to make sure she gets the sleep she needs. I'm very in tune with my kids, but it's hard for me to be at my best with so little sleep for so long. You provided me with many who are against CIO, but try providing me with new things to try! (I would have emailed you, but your profile is not enabled. I'd be glad to hear more from you by email.)

And Chris (I figured I'd go ahead and answer you here too even though your email is in your profile.) Thanks for the support! We did get rid of the pacifier and it helped some. As for the SR, my brother and I were at it as well and get along great now. My motto has become "this too shall pass". Sometimes I think it stems from the three of us being together so much. H starts preschool in the Fall and I think that will give us all just enough time apart to appreciate each other a bit more!

Thanks again!


Tipper said...

Ugh. Crying does not harm babies. NEGLECTING babies causes harm. The first article posted repeatedly talks about neglect and "extended periods of time" where babies are left to cry by themselves; a few hours for a couple of days, when a child should be learning to be a little more independent from his/her parents is not going to seriously mess up their brain development. In my opinion, it will cause MORE problems to jump up and coddle your child every time it cries, for whatever reason. What does THAT teach them?

This is my first time reading this blog, but I'm confident that Jenn's not neglecting her children, and that if crying it out didn't work, she would try other methods.

Personally, I think it's a bit rude to post so much (biased) information, with no commentary and no suggestions for a different solution. Trish might as well have said, "You're a horrible, neglectful mother who is going to mess up your children and you obviously have no idea what you're doing."

Jenn said...

Tipper - Thanks for the comment (and reading the blog). I know how much I love my kids and how well I try to take care of them, but it's always nice to have someone else recognize it! Thanks for standing up for me!